Jump to content

Theme© by Fisana
 

Girls...


  • Please log in to reply
63 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_CaptainAmerica_*

Guest_CaptainAmerica_*
  • Guests

Posted 05 February 2003 - 07:11 PM

Girls. I love them. Without my girlie, I'd be half of what I am today

BUT... what language do they speak?

Case and point:

Two weeks ago, my wife says to me, "Honey, you and Mike ought to go fishing together. So, I made the arrangements.

A few days later, she says, "Were you able to get Mike to go fishing with you? Your gear is out there in the garage. Good luck finding it, the garage is a mess. You seem to have time to fish, see if you can find time for the garage." So, I cleaned the garage.

One week ago she says, "Are you still going fishing with Mike? You know there are a lot of things that need doing around here." I said, "Yes, we are planning to go next Saturday honey."

Yesterday she says, "I can't believe you're still going fishing. All you want to do is fish. See if you can schedule some time for me this weekend if you're not too busy."

IT WAS HER IDEA THAT I EVEN GO FISHING TO BEGIN WITH!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Still, gotta love 'em, hey guys?
  • 0

#2 Guest_Viking396_*

Guest_Viking396_*
  • Guests

Posted 05 February 2003 - 07:29 PM

CA,

Hey, you married my wife!!!!!!!!
  • 0

#3 Guest_CaptainAmerica_*

Guest_CaptainAmerica_*
  • Guests

Posted 05 February 2003 - 07:36 PM

Well Viking.... I guess that makes me and you "husband-in-laws."
  • 0

#4 Guest_Viking396_*

Guest_Viking396_*
  • Guests

Posted 05 February 2003 - 07:40 PM

That was a good one! Damn women are sneaky aren't they? Mine has done the exact same thing.
  • 0

#5 Guest__*

Guest__*
  • Guests

Posted 05 February 2003 - 07:43 PM

A new holiday :

Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for your
wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and
any other baubles that women find romantic. Secret...guys feel left out.
That's right...left out. There's no special holiday for the ladies to show
their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too
proud or just too embarrassed to admit it. Which is why a new holiday has
been created. March 20th is now officially "Steak & Blowjob Day." Simple,
effective and self-explanatory...this holiday has been created so your
ladies can have a day to show your man just how much you love him. No cards,
no flowers, no special nights on the town-the name of the holiday explains
it all...just a steak and a BJ. That's it. This twin pairing of Valentine's
Day and Steak & Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men
everywhere will try THAT much harder in February to ensure a more memorable
March! It's like a perpetual love machine. The word is already spreading,
but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling.
So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world
  • 0

#6 Guest_CaptainAmerica_*

Guest_CaptainAmerica_*
  • Guests

Posted 05 February 2003 - 07:51 PM

Oh....it get's better. (Or, I'm just getting stupider.)

Last October, my wife goes to Florida for 10 days to visit her folks.
I was left at home due to my work schedule. Anyways, you guys know I am a musician right? Well, my band had the whole weekend off during the time my wife was in Florida. So the wife syas, "You and Rob (my ketboard player) should go to Vegas for the weekend. She didn't have to tell me twice!

I looked for last minute Vegas bargains. The cheapest I found was a 4 day, three night deal for 750.00 bucks, airfare included. The keyboardist said that was more than he wanted to spend for Vegas.

BUT....I did find a Cancun trip for 608.00 that was 4 days, 3 nights, airfare, and all inclusive (food drinks included). cancun? Vegas? Cancun? Vegas? Duh....... what do you think I picked?

Well, as you guys might remember, I went to Cancun last October. Without her. Although she was spending her days poolside in Florida, without me, man, was she ever pissed.

They wonder why we don't listen? Maybe because, what they say is not what they mean?

What's the matter honey? "NOTHING!! DAMN IT!"
  • 0

#7 Guest_CaptainAmerica_*

Guest_CaptainAmerica_*
  • Guests

Posted 05 February 2003 - 07:55 PM

I spend as much time as I stomach lining will allow, at Hooters, bro.

Chorny, I'm UP for the Steak and BJ idea. I'll pass the word around.

What the hell is Sweetest Day anyways? A Hallmark Holiday? Never heard of it until I moved up north.

It's Valentines Day part II!

Bet your *** I will never forget it again though!
  • 0

#8 LifeisGood

LifeisGood

    Registered User

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1934 posts

Posted 05 February 2003 - 11:51 PM

My Exwife use to say that I wore the pants in the family, but she pick which pair to wear.

I don't argue anymore with the women in my life. Just shake my head in agreement, yes dear, anything you say sweetheart.
  • 0

#9 Guest_CaptainAmerica_*

Guest_CaptainAmerica_*
  • Guests

Posted 05 February 2003 - 11:55 PM

You have wisdom beyond your years lifeisgood.

I'm like the little plastic dog that sits in the back windshield. A canine bobblehead.... just shaking his head "uh-huh"

Yes dear.
  • 0

#10 wali

wali

    Banned

  • Banned
  • PipPipPip
  • 7667 posts

Posted 05 February 2003 - 11:57 PM

My Exwife use to say that I wore the pants in the family, but she pick which pair to wear.

i had a chick like that........... she always made me wear the nice see through ones that floss your ***, but i did look cute
  • 0

#11 OverSword

OverSword

    Registered User

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 15 posts

Posted 05 February 2003 - 11:58 PM

I am all for the Steak & Blowjob day!!

In a couple of months my girlfriend will be moving to L.A. for work, should I look for a new one or enjoy my time alone with my video games and porno movies?
  • 0

#12 Guest_CaptainAmerica_*

Guest_CaptainAmerica_*
  • Guests

Posted 05 February 2003 - 11:59 PM

All of the above Wali.
  • 0

#13 wali

wali

    Banned

  • Banned
  • PipPipPip
  • 7667 posts

Posted 06 February 2003 - 12:03 AM

i recon that i whould look better in Atossas undies than she does
  • 0

#14 Guest_CaptainAmerica_*

Guest_CaptainAmerica_*
  • Guests

Posted 06 February 2003 - 12:05 AM

Well, if Atossa ever wants something exciting between her legs, you can always take her for a ride on your scooter...hehehehehe.
  • 0

#15 OverSword

OverSword

    Registered User

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 15 posts

Posted 06 February 2003 - 12:08 AM

Atossa is good looking but would look better dressed in shackles and a ballgag.
  • 0

#16 wali

wali

    Banned

  • Banned
  • PipPipPip
  • 7667 posts

Posted 06 February 2003 - 12:08 AM

mad the girls love the 1930 500cc. after 2 miles they go quiet, at four miles they shake, after six they ask if we can stop for a ciggie.
  • 0

#17 pulse

pulse

    Registered User

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 55 posts

Posted 06 February 2003 - 12:31 AM

Anybody here married to a russian....well, I am...

Some of the lads come over one night for a yap and about an hour in the misses says "you should go out for the night with your friends"...

So I says....nah, Ill stay home with you.....

Hour later Im in trouble for not going out!

The very next week, Same thing happens, except I do go out!

HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT TOOK BEFORE SHE WAS ON THE PHONE SAYING WHERE THE F*UCK ARE YOU?

You guessed it, under an hour! (45 minutes) I barely had enough time to walk to the club (10 minutes, Line up, 15 minutes, get in to the bar, get a round of drinks...on taking my first sip...ring ring.

F*ck

Beer and blowjob, Steak and BJ

BSBJ
  • 0

#18 Guest_CaptainAmerica_*

Guest_CaptainAmerica_*
  • Guests

Posted 06 February 2003 - 12:35 AM

Well, you know what they say, "You can't live with 'em and you can't shoot 'em."
  • 0

#19 Guest__*

Guest__*
  • Guests

Posted 06 February 2003 - 12:47 AM

You guys are too funny :)

Don't you know you are supposed to read our minds?
  • 0

#20 Hugonaut

Hugonaut

    Registered User

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 41 posts

Posted 06 February 2003 - 12:52 AM

Please put me down for steak and blowjob day too. I used to call this day "Friday" but it got lost somewhere after the wedding....



Plsek - we CAN detect your thoughts - we just can't interpret them!
  • 0




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Copyright © 2016 Pravda.Ru