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#1 platykitten

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Posted 27 March 2003 - 12:41 AM

<pops head around door>

Anyone home?

Jeeeeeeeeeeeze! So much has happened in the world since I was last here!

Aussies won again at cricket!

Iraq has been invaded!

<list not necessarily in order of importance>

All these things happening but El Shrub still can't pronounce nuclear or "W" correctly!

Ya gotta laugh, the most powerful man in history is a moron! Although, Nero (a former "most powerful man") wasn't exactly known for his intelligence. Perhaps stupidity is a pre-requisite! All that obsequiousness directed at one would be humiliating for a thinking person.

"Cut out the unctuousness! And while you're doing that let me pick my own nose!!!".

Of course the nose-picking is essential for Shrub, everyone is aware that he couldn't find the nose on his own face, let alone Iraq on a map!

Ah! well!!! As Ned Kelly said, just before they hung him, Such is Life!!
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#2 zxb

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Posted 27 March 2003 - 12:59 AM

Hello Platy! How are you?

Do I take it that you are not a complete fan of Mr George Bush(tapo?) then? :)

I take it you are opposed to the war like normal people?
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#3 YUGO

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Posted 27 March 2003 - 08:02 AM

Hi Aussies....did you know that Steve Brax has been voted the sexiest "Gay" man ever?

Cricket ratings.

AUS....1.






SA,NZ...2
WI...IN..3.
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#4 Source

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Posted 27 March 2003 - 09:20 AM

you obviously missed the meeting, we're all bush fans now. he's right! he's got the proper god on his side! he's saving iraq! he's a peace lover! he's almost leftwing!

sheesh, i have to stop watching american news television.

welcome back, btw, no doubt you've noticed how much more happy and peaceful the world mysteriously became in your absence.
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#5 platykitten

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Posted 27 March 2003 - 10:34 AM

Hi fellas! Nice to be back

zxb, some women find moronic illiterates attractive. Just ask Laura Bush! Have you noticed his

deer caught in the headlights stare? It's because he's always searching for his cue cards, even when they're not there! Either that or he's trying to remember the following....

Condy has milk no sugar; Daddy has it black (ewww); Don Rummy likes it weak. Have I ordered enough napkins for the next meeting!

Honestly, the poor man is just run off his feet, and with Poodle Blair arriving soon he's had to order in extra supplies of tea! And he can't remember if his teapot matches the coffee pot! <sigh> Being a tea-person isn't easy!

Anyway, enough of Shrub, it's just too easy to make fun of him!

Effed-up....the day I

run away from anything, it will be a tank with a US soldier at the wheel (or whatever it's called). In fact, my life took a turn for the better. Do you honestly think if any of us had something else to do we would be hob-nobbing with each other!! <g>

Steve Bracks, not Brax!


Source, you mad Scotsman! How could I keep away any longer. Now get this for a laugh. Next week in class we are having a mock debate. And by pure chance I have to argue for the KKK!! I swear I'm not making this up. I'll just flash my bottle blonde hair and pasty white skin and
opine (doncha loooove that word! I don't think I'd ever heard it outside of a Victorian novel till the other night) that moi is the epitome of millenia of evolutionary development. Oh! hell, they don't believe in evolution do they? How can someone with even my small intellect pretend to be absolutely gormless?
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#6 platykitten

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Posted 27 March 2003 - 10:38 AM

I see Pravda is working as well as it ever did!!!

"run away" is the first italic deleted


"opine" is the Victorian novel word.


argh!
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#7 Source

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Posted 27 March 2003 - 10:18 PM

ah, opine.

i almost used it the other day here but thought better of appearing intellectually capable.

i used cunt instead.

ok, slap accepted ;)

there's always been some aggro about that word huh! it's about the most used word on the streets of the uk so doesn't have much oomph to it. the word "bush" has far more venom attached these days here - what's with the female connotations? cunt, bush, pussy? all derogative, and all associated with female genitalia. i've never assoiciated those words with the labial area other than when i'm actually having sex, which is rarely ;)

wot du u fink?

--

kkk? that should be a cakewalk, just dl any of siggys threads and have at ;)
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#8 bellisaurius

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Posted 27 March 2003 - 10:22 PM

PLATYYYYYY!!!!!!!

YEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
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#9 platykitten

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Posted 28 March 2003 - 12:53 AM

Source, has anyone ever told you your "stream of consciousness", or thought processes, are odd, to say the least??!!

How on earch did opine lead to offensive slang terms for womens' genitalia!!

Only you, Source...only you!

We do not say "opine" in Australia. It is an archaic term. I find it significant the Rumsfeld used it. He is an archaic form of life, and the quicker he and his ilk realise that the better off we will all be!



Belli!!!!!! <kissy, kissy, huggy, huggy> <s>
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#10 traveller

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Posted 28 March 2003 - 03:25 AM

Good to see you back platy! Hope you had a good holiday and hope it's not raining in that nasty city!?
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#11 Source

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Posted 28 March 2003 - 10:06 AM

platy,

are you suggesting i'm in some way peculia....peculi.....errrm, a weirdo?

liquid thinking, it's the new black, dontcha know ;)
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#12 Psycho Thylacine

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Posted 28 March 2003 - 10:10 AM

And a g'whateveritisithappensnstobeinyourtimezone to you to.

If memory does not play me false the last moniker I talked to you under was Modified Lizard.

This is my new "let's annoy the fundies" look.

Actually I think it annoys damn near everybody but at least it remains true to character.
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#13 babu

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Posted 28 March 2003 - 03:17 PM

Finally---the return of the Platykitten! Welcomes, Salutations, and wild pelvic gyrations from posters of all nations.

A message board lives or dies proportionate to the calibre of their female participants, [even if they may be 'chronologically endowed',]:eek: since for the males, a message board is merely a substitute for sex, and we tend to become rude and unruly without input from our better half. And, of course, the opportunity of harmless flirting is available.

So, are you a graduate now?

babu---
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#14 bellisaurius

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Posted 28 March 2003 - 07:12 PM

BTW, platy how's UoB? She's among the pravda MIA (Along with Exad, Egad!)
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#15 Guest_piehunt_*

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Posted 28 March 2003 - 07:26 PM

Wb, playkitten!! Hope you've been well. :)
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#16 platykitten

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Posted 29 March 2003 - 01:09 AM

traveller, I wish we did have some rain. About three weeks ago it rained and the dogs became agitated wondering what it was! I'm not joking! The worst drought ever recorded if we don't have significant downfalls soon! Every day I wake up to blue skies and warm weather and think .... Sh.t!

Source! "The new black!" Give up perving through the soft porn found in "Marie Clare" or you'll be buying candles, fruit and fresh flowers next! What do you think of "shabby chic"?

Mod Lizard! Great to hear from you! Hmmm! Warlock, evocative word...love it! What else is there in life but to annoy others. I try to do it at least once a day, better than an apple!...<g>

Babu! watch those gyrations a bad back at your age is not a good thing! Flirt! flirt! <g> I must remember.... "chronologically challenged"! <g> To my mind when one ceases to harmlessly flirt one should be in one's grave!

Belli, I'll pass on your best wishes to her. She is well but very busy lately. Exad isn't around any more! Bad news!

Piehunt, I've been in the company of a Pom for the last ten or so weeks! I'm getting a lot of sleep to recover <g>. You wouldn't believe it, but everywhere we went we bumped into people on holiday from where she used to live! Anyway, she saw the error of her ways years ago and became a naturalised Aussie!! <g>

Thank you all for your warm welcome back! I have a little tear in my eye!
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#17 Source

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Posted 29 March 2003 - 09:17 AM

"What do you think of "shabby chic"?"

when practiced between two consenting adults i have no problem with it.
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#18 platykitten

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Posted 30 March 2003 - 12:47 AM

Source, don't ever change, I need people who exasperate me!!<g>

Have you submitted your tender for sub-contracting in the "reconstruction of Iraq"? Of course you won't get any of the really lucrative contracts, they've already gone to HALIBURTON!!
....quel surprise! (sorry, italics button isn't working!)

Now that's pro-active business practice. Destroy a country's economy; destroy the next generation by killing off 500,000 children; destroy the country; then when it's on its knees, invade, kill a lot more. Take control of their resources. Then the coup de gras!!!

Make 'em pay and pay for reconstruction!!

Yes, Yes! I know the US economy is a basket case and needs an injection of good old war contracts' profits, but I'm still one of those old-fashioned moralists who think people are more important than profits! I'm trying my best to overcome this personality fault!

I've been watching Donny Rumsfeld (Spike's my hero!). Practising his dead-eyed look, but it's difficult when one is still alive! I'm reading up on press releases from both the Turkish govt and Saddam....."Kurds are evil, they shouldn't have their own homeland!!" However, at the moment I'm reading about the most famous Kurd of all - Saladin!! He was instrumental in giving ALL Muslims their own homeland <sigh>.

Oh! Well....take it easy on yourself, Source!!
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#19 Source

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Posted 30 March 2003 - 10:35 AM

funny you should mention my plans for the reconstruction of iraq! i've had them in preparation fopr some time now so they're pretty finely tuned. indeed i've submitted them for governmental perusal and have had some very positive feedback so far.

in a nutcase shell:

1) america and the uk lose the war, this is a given, obviously - unlike short sighted politicos i'm appraised of the workings of truth, reality, and simple justice. reparations will follow...

2) i have personally designed a variety of small, powerful oil extraction units (rigs, in techno-speak) which again america and the uk will pay for. these units are modeled on the likenesses of our current 'leaders' - the bush model, the blair model, the rumsfeld model, etc. i've been working on the wolfowitless model too but as expected it requires way more oil to run than it can extract, i'e developed a back up plan which turns this specific model into a urinal for the oilfield workers. the fleischer model was designed from the ground up to issue words of encouragement and hilarity for the selfless workers in iraq, no change there then.

these models are designed to be laid face down and have large penises which fit the bore-holes - obviously this is one area where the model is at complete variance with reality - and then a large, serrated tube is inserted in the vacuous anal cavity which would normally house the brain.

i've also designed two 'mexican bean' rocker units which sit atop the extraction units and cause a kind of 'suck and blow' effect to occur as they rock back and forth in perpetuity. in order to inspire the workers these are made in the likeness of saddam and osama and laugh hysterically every time a fluid ounce is extracted.

obviously the resulting outflow has to be shared in some kind of democratic fashion so i propose the product of the extraction units be given in it's entirety to the people of iraq and the product collected by the wolfowitless unit be distributed equally between america and the uk.

as a casual outside observer can you see any fault with this plan?
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#20 platykitten

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Posted 30 March 2003 - 11:49 AM

Source, how long have you been working on this plan? I hesitate to say it, because I don't like giving men praise, but it's brilliant!! It's so brilliant that even reading it twice I still can't understand it. I stand in awe of your genius!!
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